itschautime!

I’m trying.

I’m trying my damned hardest to balance everything in my life: my grades in school doing 15 hours, my boyfriend, my social life, my family, getting everything together for dental school applications opening in May including studying for DAT, getting my personal statement down, and getting all these letter of recommendations, and working 20-30 hours a week.

Forgive me if I don’t have all the time in the world to be with you. I’m trying, I really am, to find time to see you to where it doesn’t hurt any of the other factors in my life.  I know it’s frustrating that we can’t see each other all the time or be with each other every day.  I have had other things to prioritize on, and if it weren’t for them, I’d come to see you in a heartbeat. But things can not be so easy.  I have other things in my life I need to think about, I have other priorities I need to care about.  I love you, I do, and I miss you, but I got to do me right now.  It doesn’t mean I want to end things, it just means that - for the time being - I have other priorities ahead of you. I won’t lie, you aren’t my highest priority right now; I’m worrying about dental school, admissions, the rest of my life.  But you are a big part of my life, I don’t want you to forget that. I just need you to be patient with me right now.

I love you.

stress and frustration

and more stress and frustration.  Work and school and home.  It doesn’t end.

Just let it go.  I’m growing up.  I’m not going to tell you everything.  I’m not going to always want you to hold my hand.  I’m going to want to be on my own. And that’s what I’m going to do.  All I can ask for is for you to accept it and move on.

Positive note: he and I are going well again.  Asked if I wanted to get back together.  I’m a maybe right now.

Dylan is horrible at telling me jokes.

He tried to tell me something that was happening in Friends, but he starts laughing as he talks about it, then as he gets closer and closer to the punchline, he becomes incomprehensible because he’s laughing so much. Almost on the floor laughing.  

And now he’s back to tell me another joke… “Che che, one question, why is Ross so funny?” *snicker snicker snicker* “seriously, he’s funny”

LOL. This kid.

Today was interesting to say the least.

I had an interesting talk with Fong. We established a certain relationship that still makes me laugh. We had a great talk, but some things were discovered that made me concerned with my stuff.
Went on an adventure today. It was eerie, going into the closed off part of UP.
VV and I… it was interesting to say the least. I don’t know what to put of it all. I can’t say I want to get back together yet. I know it’s better to be apart. But today. Today was just interesting.
I’m pretty sure a lot of people will be pissed with me once they see this.
And Megan hit me a lot. WE’RE OVER.

nothing I do is right.

nothing at all.